


Planet Earth Turns Slowly (‘Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems)

by bmcbapej



Series: This Isn't Toxic (But I'm Still Slipping Under) [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Goodbyes, Post-Pitch Perfect 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmcbapej/pseuds/bmcbapej
Summary: How do you let go of something you never had?orBeca isn’t as oblivious as everyone thinks she is. She just knows they all have it wrong.





	Planet Earth Turns Slowly (‘Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems)

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the same universe as the rest of this series but can definitely be read as a standalone. I was going to finish the second chapter in the two-shot I posted first (and it is mostly done), but then an idea struck me and I word vomited out this whole one-shot instead which didn't even include my original idea so ?!?!?

Contrary to popular belief, Beca wasn’t completely emotionally inept. Sure, she was never going to be anyone’s first preference for relationship advice, and nothing terrified her more than crying girls (or guys, Jesse was an emotional drunk), but that didn’t mean she was blind enough to miss the looks that the other Bellas would often give Chloe and her.

Chloe was one of the very first people to ever try to know her. Not just in the sense of ‘oh who’s that scary-looking girl over there’, but to _really know_ her. It was admittedly a nice feeling, after all, no one had ever cared enough to do so (and it makes her wonder a little what else she’s missed out on). Later, she would find a number of other people who would also try to get to know her, but Chloe would always be her first.

Chloe was like the sun: lighting up her darkest places and melting her coldest walls. The thing about the sun though, it might be bright, it might be warm, and it might breathe life where there previously was none, but it was also untouchable and always out of reach. If Chloe was the sun, then Beca sometimes felt as if she was the Earth. Spinning endlessly around herself with nothing but the Sun’s gravity to stop her from drifting aimlessly across the universe. Occasionally in her darker moments, she felt like the Moon - a pale imitation reflecting just a fraction of the Sun’s rays.

Her relationship with the older girl was an interesting one to say the least. On paper their friendship should have been doomed from the very beginning. They were opposites in almost every sense, at least to anyone looking in. It was a friendship that had started with a violation of boundaries Beca should have never been able to forgive (although she did start carrying that damn whistle with her every time she went to shower after that incident). Despite everything, their friendship hadn’t just survived – it had thrived. Like two pieces from different puzzles that somehow still managed to fit together.

She was self-aware enough to know that Chloe brought out a side of her that her younger self would have scoffed at, rejected, and outright ridiculed. In return, she liked to think that she provided a stability that Chloe needed. They were not only different because of each other, they were also different around one another. The Bellas would often make comments about them (Stacie and Cynthia-Rose being the most vocal) and during one Bella Bonding Night Cynthia-Rose had bluntly proclaimed that “there is no heterosexual explanation for what you guys are doing right now”.

Her sexuality was something she never really brought up with her friends. They probably suspected that she wasn’t completely straight. Her awkward interactions with Das Sound Machine’s leader alone should have brought up a multitude of flags. It wasn’t something she was ashamed of (and she knew the Bellas were 100% supportive), it was just another facet of her life that she preferred to stay private. Strangely enough, the only person who had the boldness to directly ask her about it was her then-boyfriend Jesse. He had seen the way her eyes would sometimes linger just a little bit longer than necessary on certain actors _and actresses_ during their many Movi-cations.

Her relationship with Chloe had settled into a strange place that wasn’t exactly friendship but never romantic. It was something Beca refused to vocally acknowledge until junior year when she had had one too many drinks halfway through watching ‘Hairspray’ (she still firmly believed that Amber Von Tussle held a strong resemblance to Chloe). She apologized to Jesse the morning after, but he had taken everything in stride. His response had been something to the effect of “Beca, you shouldn’t apologize for feeling things. I know you love me and I’m honestly happy that you felt comfortable enough to tell me – even if you needed a bit of liquid courage.”

Beca sometimes thought that Jesse was a little too understanding, but it was that understanding that allowed them to stay friends even after their mutual break-up. After only a week of total radio silence on both ends, she accidentally texted him a meme out of habit. Their friendship then continued as if nothing had ever happened, the only thing that really changed was a decrease in “I love you”s and an increase in “Do you think she’ll like this shirt?”. He and his girlfriend had even named their new cat Rebecca because of its perpetual grumpy expression (she pretended to be indignant about it, but it honestly brought a small smile to her face).

Perhaps it wouldn’t come as a surprise then that Jesse was the first (and she suspected only) person to know that she and Chloe had actually in-fact slept together (sexually, they had slept together platonically more times than either could count). It was a one-off thing sometime in January last year. Amy had left for the week to celebrate some annual Australian holiday whilst she and Chloe had found themselves with some unexpected time off from work and study respectively. Neither had wanted to do anything that required a great deal of thinking, so they had spent the day watching mindless reality television. She wasn’t exactly sure how things played out the way they did. There was no alcohol, no sudden declarations of desire, not even some bad movie trope-style event like a sudden blackout. Beca couldn’t even tell you who had initiated the whole thing (she suspected that, like most things between them, it was both by some mutual unstated understanding).

The morning that followed was just like any other, and their usual routine continued as if nothing new had ever happened. Judging by the reaction Jesse had given her when he found out later, she thinks that maybe she and Chloe would have discussed it if either of them were more normal. But they weren’t - so they didn’t.

In retrospect, the fact that nothing had changed meant that everything had changed. In ways that Beca couldn’t properly put into words (though she’s tried numerous times during those rare late hours after midnight alone), she's come to realize that her relationship with Chloe somehow echoed that of hers with Jesse but _more_ (she probably would never say that last part to his face). It was comforting but familiar. Familiar in a way that somehow only now made her restless.

Maybe she had been too quick to cast Chloe and herself into the roles of grand things such as the Sun and Earth. Maybe she was actually nothing but a simple paper airplane flying along with a Summer breeze named Chloe Beale. It was light, it was comfortable, it was safe. But Beca yearned for something different, something she couldn't explain. And she knew that if she wanted to see if there was anything else out there, she would have to stop following the breeze and allow herself to fall. It might be stupid, she could crash and burn, or even fall apart at the seams. But maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself to unfold and find whatever it was she was looking for.

Looking down at the single suitcase in front of her, Beca realised that whether or not she wanted to let go didn’t matter anymore. She had signed DJ Khaled’s deal and by the end of the day she would be arriving in Miami, Florida which would be her new home for the unforeseeable future.

“I think your cab’s almost here, are you ready to go?” She turned around to see the subject of her earlier thoughts. A soft smile on her face and a look in her eyes that Beca knew she was mirroring back.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come with you.” Chloe had to leave for a mandatory orientation event at the veterinary clinic in half an hour, but she could tell that’s not what the other girl was referring to.

“It’s okay, I’ll miss you though.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

Hearing a honk from outside, she knew that their time had run out. As she rolled her suitcase out into the hall, she turned one last time to take everything in. In some unspoken agreement, they stepped forward in tandem, each pressing their lips gently against the other’s in a way that appeared as if they shared the same consciousness. As they parted, Beca could hear another more drawn out honk from outside.

Hurriedly making her way outside, she could hear a familiar voice call out behind her, “Good luck out there!”

She loved Chloe and Chloe loved her, just not in the same way that everyone had expected them to. They had loved each other for 7 years, and she’s sure they’ll love each other for many more. They might have been two pieces that fit, but they were ultimately destined for different puzzles. Beca knew that she could always come home if she wanted to but that wasn’t what she needed right now. It was time for her to fly off into the unknown, to set off and find her own truth – even if it meant that for now she would be crying alone in the back of a cab.

**Author's Note:**

> I've shipped Bechloe since watching Pitch Perfect 6 years ago so it's a bit weird to be writing them not ending up together. This is honestly how I see it panning out in this universe though.


End file.
